Relationship Therapy Can Help You

The therapist helps a couple to build a psychological understanding of themselves, to recognise problems and to work together to effect change. Many different kinds of issues can bring a couple to counselling. Sometimes outside events, such as, a sudden redundancy, heath scare or a new baby can be very distressing and can destabilise even secure relationships. Relationship therapy at The Ark can benefit couples with a wide range of relationship problems. Among them are:

• Difficulty communicating / different communication styles.
• Fear of commitment, for instance, when a couple are together but find it difficult to agree on whether to marry or not, and whether to have children.
• Difficulty managing conflicts, for instance resorting to unproductive, frequent rowing / violence.
• Changes in their relationship triggered by the arrival of children and sense of being overwhelmed by this.
• Difficulties in parenting – difficulties managing children behaviour, or difficulty with agreeing on a parental style may lead to a couple may finding themselves constantly at odds and stressed. This is very likely to have an adverse effect on the quality of their relationship.
• Difficulty coping with a termination or miscarriage – such events can sometimes have devastating psychological effects on a relationship.
• A variety of sexual problems, including one/both partners having lost interest.
• Feeling stuck – when it seems the same pattern of behaviour, a discussion occurs frequently happening, and does not seem to be solving problems.
• The psychological impact of an affair – helping a couple to process very raw and powerful emotions resulting from this.
• Infertility and adoption issues.
• Dealing with the psychological impact of chronic or terminal illness in a family.
• Deciding whether or not to separate, for example where children are involved.
• The impact psychological impact of retirement on a couple.

How does Couples Therapy work?

There are several approaches to working with couples. Some of them, CBT for instance, are more structured, and oriented towards discussing thought patterns/beliefs, and finding coping skills. Other approaches, Gestalt therapy for instance, are less structured and focus on couple’s emotions and shared values. In our clinic the practitioner will use one, or more of such approaches. It will depend on what’s best for you and your partner. Our therapist will conduct an initial assessment and tailor the therapy according to your needs. The initial assessment will focus on evaluating your relationship and finding a way to address potentially difficult topics without conflict.

Relationship Therapy for Individuals

Couples therapy is also effective for individuals. It is a common practice that only one partner is ready to explore the difficulties within a relationship. In such cases we can work on problems such as: 

• Feeling lonely / unfulfilled / bored despite being in a relationship.
• Feeling stuck in a relationship that seems unhealthy, depressing or destructive.
• Struggling with maintaining stable relationships.
• Feeling frustrated with a partner who is unwilling or unable to change, or to attend couples therapy.
• Discussing aspects of your relationship that you prefer not to discuss with your partner in person.
• Dealing with grief and other difficult emotions after losing your partner through separation, divorce or death.

In such situation, the counsellor provides a safe setting to explore painful or distressing issues in a constructive way. Such process is different from talking to a friend because the therapist has been trained to understand and talk about the psychological mechanisms underlying the problem. In many cases our trusted friends or relatives might not understand or know how to respond to what we shear with them.

The counsellor will help you to identify patterns of behaviour connected to feelings and worries in your relationship. If necessary, this may be followed by the analysis of more deeply rooted problems, such as patterns of behaviour from childhood. As you begin to understand your own psychology, and your circumstances better, you will be more able to decide for yourself what to do to bring about change.